Phew!

The second book is finished!  Well, the first draft at least and I hope the publisher likes it because I'm more proud of it than anything I've ever done.  Eleven months (part time) of blood, sweat and tears has gone into that bad boy and I'll be well fucked off if nobody likes it.

The first one was an accident really, it just sort of wrote itself and I was writing it for my own amusement, whilst I'm really proud of it I looked over it again and I know I could have done a better job on it.  I also knew when it came out that it would split opinion and I'm hoping this second one will balance things out.

Nobody Inn got it's first bad review on Amazon and it really hit my sales!  Keeping track of how many books you're flogging is a fucking nightmare because all shops get the book on 90 day sale or return, so whilst you know how many are out there you're always up to three months behind on how things are actually going.  Anyway, I took to having a check on my Amazon sales rank every few hours to see how things were going.  My book started off at around the 150,000 rank and it was rising steadily to an average of around 18,000.  Then that fucker (sorry everyone's entitled to their own opinion) puts up a two star review and for three days my rank fell all the way back to the 100,000ish mark.

Now, I don't mind negative criticism and welcome any opinions on my work but this guy missed the fucking point of the book entirely.  Why do some people expect that because something is in book form it absolutely has to be an immaculately written piece of literature?  There's a real snobbery about it all.  I'm under no illusions, I know my book is the literary equivalent of a popcorn movie, but to be honest when I'm reading something swamped in detail I just end up skipping pages because it bores me to death.  I know what a friggin daffodil looks like I don't need it explaining to me.

Christ, in the first draft I didn't even describe any of the characters, this was mainly because it started as a script and I just thought that if it ever got made into a series or film it'd be much nicer for the people on the screen to dictate how the characters looked instead of trying to find folk right for the part.  Keirsten convinced me to describe them all in the end and I have to say she was right.  With an army of characters like the 14 or so in Nobody Inn there'd never be time to develop them fully but they need developing enough so that you remember their names.

So what now?  I'm deciding between three ideas for the next one, I've got a three book deal and there's no guarantee I'll ever get a fourth so it needs to be good, making the decision on which book to do is going to be more difficult than writing it.  So - here's my ideas.

Anchor Point.

Chris and Carl are comedy writers, their first series checking it out was a worldwide sauces and won them global recognition and many awards.  However, because they'd used all the good ideas in the first series the second one was a let down.  They negotiate a new deal for a brand new series and decide to go away with their families to a large old log cabin in the lakes where they stayed as students years before and came up with most of their ideas.

However, they forget that most of the characters they'd created were based on the local misfits of this small village and as the tourist season finishes the community comes together to exact their revenge.  I really like this idea and it sits well with the other two books but I think it might be better as a film rather than a book so I might do a screenplay instead.

Jesus An Unauthorized Biography - The Man not The Messiah

Exactly what it says on the tin.  The real story based on all of the gnostic gospels rather than the five in the bible but twisted around a little.  This would be the most difficult one to write but the best book, however it doesn't sit well with the other two I've written so I'm torn.  The other advantage with this is the fact that it'll defiantly cause a stink.  Which means it'll advertise itself.

The Secret World Of Jonty Wilde

Jonty Wild is purposely anonymous.  A creature of habit and routine he keeps himself to himself.  Then one day he realises that nobody can see him or hear him anymore.  Is he invisible? Is he a ghost? How long has he been this way?  He lives as a voyeur for two years watching the comings and goings of the people in Holme Bridge until he realises he has the power to influence situations.  Then he begins twist and play with the villagers. 

The last one is the favourite at the moment because it's set in Holme Bridge like Nobody Inn and Psychotic Escaping Justice but it's a more accessible, less un-pc story and has a fab ending that'd be a great end not just for the book but for the trio.  Thing is tho - it's a little bit fluffy in comparison to everything else.  That has it's plus points - at least my mum will have a book to show off that she won't feel embarrassed about her mates reading.

So that's me at the mo.  In limbo, any help appreciated.  Thanks for reading, now fuck off to amazon and buy another copy of my book.  I'm off to New York in March with work and I want some new trainers from Bloomingdales.

Comments

[Gary Davison]

How freeky is this, Mark - I've just put a blog up after being away a while, describing what I'm up to at the min and a few ideas for my third book. i click on yours to see how you're getting on and its via on the same. Weird!

So how are your sales going? Are they still suffering since the bad reveiw or what?

[Paul]

Congrats with the second book, Mark. Getting that first draft down is always the hardest part, I find---after that it's playtime! You've got me thinking with that Amazon business and the effect that one negative might have on a site like that. Like they say, you can please some of the people some of the time, but ...

And good luck with number three. Sounds like you're going flat out.

[Mark Hayhurst]

God I've no idea how the sales are going. Not a clue.

Thankfully someone gave me a five star review shortly after the 2 star one so things started to recover (not to as good as they were though).

But I just noticed a 1 star up there today so we'll see what happens with that.

I've been a reivewer myslef and written some scathing ones in my time so it looks like what goes around comes around.

Never mind.

[Gary Davison]

Tagged by Paul Burman, i pass it onto you...TAG... you're it! Mark you are respectfully requested to write a six word memoir. futher details on on my blog. All the best, Gary